16 Lessons I Learned at 26

Everyone told me that your 20s are for finding yourself. At 26, I've realised what that means, since I'm starting to find myself. Through this journey, I've found a fascination with working out, a love affair with books and a deep appreciation for good sleep. This year, though, in particular, taught me lessons I’ll carry forever—some funny, some profound, and some so painfully obvious I’m embarrassed that I had to learn them. But hey, growth is messy and that's alright too.

Here’s what 2024 taught me, one laugh and life lesson at a time:

1. Friendships aren’t about numbers.

When I was in school, it was such a flex if you wore a lot of friendship bands, but today? Not so much. I had a big circle of friends in college, but over time, I realised that a big circle of friends doesn't always mean a big life. Turns out, I don't need a crowd, just my few closest friends who know the real me and love me, as much as I love them.

2. Giving back is my Dharma.

Embrace yourselves for this one. This year, as Jay Shetty puts it in 'Think Like a Monk,' I found my dharma: giving. Whether it's something grand or a very small gesture for a loved on, nothing compares to the joy of doing something for someone else. That's one of the reasons why I started Pickup Foundation this year. These small acts of kindness helped me keep my calm at work and life, in general. Spoiler: It's more rewarding for me to see the underprivileged smile, as compared to a luxury shopping spree. But honestly, I still like to buy luxury goods sometimes so I'm still learning.

3. Family is the ultimate VIP pass.

Although I learnt this lesson years ago, losing my grandfather was a heartbreaking reminder for me to treasure my family. Whether it's a movie day with my mom, laughing at my father's jokes, or Video Calls with Sachet Bhaiya and Sanya Didi, these moments mean more to me than the prime spots at any concerts or clubs.

4. Books are kind of awesome.

I seem to have re-kindled my love affair with books in 2024, but it's changed a little. I was obsessed with the world of Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Harold Bloom and many others, but this year, Non-fiction became my teacher, my escape and my only late-night date.

5. Writing is my stress-buster

Not a lot of people know this about me, including my closest friends but I published my first book when I was 12 years old. I will not tell you what it was about and I will never mention it in a conversation, because it was a silly little fairytale, but I'll tell you about what it's like now. Apparently, pouring my chaotic thoughts into words makes me feel better and it's a good keepsake for later. Who knew I'd re-kindle this romance at 26?

6. Chaos is unavoidable; calm is a choice.

Everyone can have a different definition of 'calm.' For me, my 'calm' is listening to music as I complete a good work out at the gym. Life can be messy on some days, when work pressure is at its peak, but nothing beats the serotonin of my 15.0 Incline Walk and 30 minutes of Hanging Leg Raises, Weighted Crunches and a good Chest Day. To each their own, I guess.

7. Love, family, and business are a three-way balancing act.

This year, I discovered something cool. God makes you wait for something because he wants you to recognise its value. As a child, God always gave me everything I could ever want, but now, he makes me work for it, just so I'd understand its value. This goes for all three - love, family and business and I think that's beautiful. The similarities between love, family and business are intense and if you master all three, you've cracked the code (still working on it).

8. Happiness comes in little packages.

I'm probably the biggest advocate for this one, since I'm not that tall, but this year, I learnt that happiness comes in little packages. It's the little things that give you the most happiness. Every morning, I message my father, "Good Morning, have a great day. I love you." and he replies with a Hug Emoji. That's the best start to my day. It's not just that, another thing I enjoy a lot is when my sister has fallen asleep and Sachet Bhaiya calls me up to catch up about life. Immediately, my sister will yell at both of us and tell us to go to bed, since she's trying to sleep, but she really just doesn't want to miss out on all the details, life is fun that way. It's these meaningful gestures that can't be bought.

9. People > Things.

On my birthday this year, what could I possibly ask for, when I already have an incredible family and great friends. Losing my grandfather this year was a tremendous loss for me. I really missed his 'Happy Birthday Bete!' this year, so I decided to celebrate my birthday with the children in my lane. It was kind of cool. No bag, gadget or car will ever hold a candle to my long conversations with my closest friends/family members, belly laughs when my father tells me something funny and my sibling bond with Sanya Didi and Sachet Bhaiya.

10. Self-love is a slow burn, but worth it.

From wanting to lose weight because I had a round face, to learning to appreciate every little quirk and flaw, I grew up. This year, I didn’t magically become obsessed with myself, but I'm learning to love how I am. Progress is in Progress.

11. Spirituality isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation.

I realised that the whole concept of spirituality is prayer and meditation, not religion Anyone can pray wherever they feel at peace - temples, Gurudwaras, their room, or even their car. God doesn't have an office or office hours, or even a specific form. This year, I discovered that I like to meet Hanuman ji, because I feel at peace around him. That doesn't mean that I don't go and pray at the Gurudwara or even in my car. That's alright too. Another thing I stopped doing is asking God for anything. He knows me better than I know myself and his plans are greater than anything I could think of, so I'm learning to have more faith in him.

12. Love is Friendship, but is Friendship Love?

This one's pretty bollywood, honestly, but my grandfather and my grandmother had the best relationship. They were head over heels in love with each other. My Nanu would wake up at 6 am, make 2 cups of tea and ask my Nani, "Chai Peeyogi?" and my Nani would respond angrily, "Satti Svere Utha diya. Sone do!" This always made my Nanu laugh, but you know what? When my Nani would wake up, she would go heat that cup of tea and drink it. Their love had comfort, support and understanding, like friendship, but it also had admiration, respect and a wonderful banter, like love. It was a wonderful friendship that evolved into the ultimate love story. I'm not sure love like that exists anymore, but I think friendship is a great start. I remember frantically telling Sachet Bhaiya that I don't know what I should look for in a partner. He simply told me, "Someone who takes an interest in you." He said that for me, he would want someone who wants to get to know me and the people I love. I don't know about all that, but my sister says that anyone in his right mind would fall in love with me because of how I am. I don't know about that either, but I think the romantic in me just wants 'Pyaar Dosti Hai' like my Nanu Nani or even my parents. To this day, if anything good happens during my father's Work Day, my mother is his first call and if she doesn't pick up, he calls me and we celebrate together. That's my definition of love.

13. Kindness goes a long way

This one is so close to my heart. I had my 'Stop and smell the roses' moment this year. Around Diwali last year, I had some extra Corporate Sweet Boxes in my car so I decided to give one to a Security Guard while I was leaving the Gym. I just said "Happy Diwali Uncle" and he smiled at me and said "Thank you, Beta, Khush Raho." To this day, he waves at me whenever he sees me and I fold my hands. One little compliment makes someone's day so much better.

14. Struggle in your 20s, Toil in your 30s and Enjoy your 40s

I discovered that I enjoy working. 18 year old Somya wouldn't agree, but there's just something rewarding about doing a good job. Most people don't realise that your 20s form the foundation of your financial life. These are your most productive years, because it's an age when we can work for longer, which will lead to success in the long run. So if you want that relaxed lifestyle in your 40s, start building something great today.

15. Recognition at work is the best ego boost.

No, I don't derive my ego boost from arguments, disagreements or winning contests. Mine comes from the work I do. Being seen and valued professionally and personally is the best validation. Since my Love Language is 'Words of Affirmation,' of course I like to feel important but I like to earn it as well.

16. My life is chaotic, beautiful, and uniquely mine.

This year, I learned to enjoy my life. When I told my father that I want to study LLB, his reaction was, "Study whatever you want, Enjoy your life as much as you want while you're living in this house, because this is the easiest that life can get." I didn't understand it at the time, but I do now. I am incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to receive an education that most girls in India only dream about. I'm so fortunate to have a supportive family and a bunch of great friends who keep things light.

Here’s to my 16 lessons at 26 and knowing that 27 will probably bring even more. If you’re reading this, here’s your reminder: life’s a mess, but it’s your mess—so laugh, love, and learn your way through it. This time won't ever come back.