No Love Lost: The Employer-Employee Tug of War

The relationship between employers and employees is a little like a long-term marriage. At first, both sides are excited about the partnership: employees are eager to contribute, and employers are thrilled to have fresh energy on board. But over time, enthusiasm can fade, communication becomes strained, and everyone wonders if the grass might be greener elsewhere.

As someone who lives in both worlds—working for a family business as both an employer and an employee—I see this dynamic up close. It’s a delicate balancing act, with no side having it easy.

Employers: The Stressed-Out Providers

Employers often feel like they’re running a circus where the performers never follow the script. They’re juggling payroll, client demands, and the occasional meltdown over who left the breakroom microwave a mess.

From the employer’s perspective, the challenges are real:

• Retention feels like a game of roulette. You train employees, invest in their growth, and they leave just as they’re hitting their stride.

• Burnout looms constantly. You’re trying to inspire, lead, and grow the business while making sure everyone gets their paycheck on time.

• The expectations feel endless. Employees want growth, balance, and flexibility, but how do you meet all that while keeping the business afloat?

Employers often feel unappreciated. They’re doing their best to provide opportunities and stability, but employees don’t always see the behind-the-scenes stress.

Employees: The Overlooked MVPs

Employees, on the other hand, often feel like the unsung heroes of the workplace. They’re working hard to meet expectations, but they rarely feel truly recognised.

Here’s what employees might say about their challenges:

• Work-life balance feels like a myth. Flexible schedules often come with the unspoken rule to be “always on.”

• Feedback feels transactional. A simple “great job” is nice, but it doesn’t pay the bills—or make up for yet another meeting that could’ve been an email.

• They’re tired of lip service. Promises of “career growth” don’t mean much if promotions and raises are perpetually “under review.”

For employees, the struggle is real: they want autonomy, support, and acknowledgment. But often, they feel stuck in a system that prioritises numbers over people.

The Truth in the Middle

What’s fascinating is how similar the frustrations are on both sides. Employers want dedication and results, and employees want to feel valued and heard. The real problem? Neither side always communicates their needs clearly—or listens to the other.

For example:

• Employers say: “We need to cut costs.”

• Employees hear: “You’re not getting that raise.”

• Employees say: “I’m feeling burnt out.”

• Employers hear: “I’m about to quit.”

Both sides are often acting out of fear—employers fear losing good talent, and employees fear being taken for granted. It’s a vicious cycle that feeds on mistrust.

Bridging the Gap

So how do we turn this workplace war into a love story? It starts with small, consistent actions:

Employers:

1. Give real feedback. Employees crave direction and acknowledgment. Don’t save praise (or constructive criticism) for annual reviews.

2. Create a culture of trust. Micromanaging doesn’t motivate—it frustrates. Trust your team to do their job, and they’ll be more likely to excel.

3. Be fair. If you’re asking employees to go above and beyond, make sure they feel it’s worth it—whether through pay, perks, or simple appreciation.

Employees:

1. Be honest about your needs. If you’re overwhelmed, don’t wait until you’re ready to quit to say something.

2. Stay engaged. It’s easy to disengage when things feel tough, but showing up with your best effort can open doors for better opportunities.

3. Remember the bigger picture. While your day-to-day might feel routine, your contributions help keep the business moving forward.

No Love Lost, But a Lot to Gain

The employer-employee dynamic isn’t perfect, and it never will be. But with clear communication, mutual respect, and a little patience, both sides can thrive.

At the end of the day, the workplace is less about choosing sides and more about collaboration. Employers need employees, and employees need employers. And while there may not be any love lost, finding common ground might just be the secret to a happier, healthier workplace.

As someone who's both an employer and an employee in my family business, I've learnt firsthand how tricky this balance can be - but also how rewarding it is when both sides work together to create something meaningful.